5-Day Detox Plan

Real-Food-5-Day-Detox-PlanIt’s spring! You know what that means? It means that it’s almost summer. In case you’ve forgotten, summer is very hot, and it requires taking off a lot of clothing. In public. If the thought of such nudity post-polar vortex makes you anxious, please know that you are not alone. In fact, I’ve been receiving an abnormal amount of requests recently for healthy meal plans, pre-wedding diets, and general beach body-friendly fare. In response, I’ve put together a little reset plan for your spring cleansing pleasure. Let’s take some communal deep breaths and talk about Domesticate ME!’s 5-Day Detox, shall we? First and foremost: YOU CAN DO THIS. It is not a crash diet. It is not a juice cleanse. It is not a Goop-y Gwyneth program that will put you out thousands of dollars. (That said, if this plan blows up...
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Cauliflower Rice Bowls with Spring Vegetables and Arugula Pesto

vegan-cauliflower-rice-bowl-with-arugula-pestoIt’s been 36 hours since my birthday. Im doing okay, thanks.  I have to say, 28 was a shockingly good bday. I woke up rather hungover (unsurprising given my old age and the birthday tequila shots consumed the night before) to the sound of someone repeatedly ringing my buzzer. I soon discovered that it was a delivery of 280 balloons from my overly generous mother, who loves birthday celebrations almost as much as I do. The balloons were amazing, but somewhat overwhelming in my condition, and I had to retire to bed while Logan tied bunches of them together so that we could move in the apartment without getting tangled in (or strangled by) the strings. As some of the balloons were of the singing variety, this process was quite noisy. Given the aforementioned hangover, I decided to scrap my best-laid birthday...
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Cucumber-Mint Sparkler

cucumber-mint-vodka-sparklersBirthday Princess Week is going quite well, thank you. I’m obviously a little panicky that it’s almost over, but I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. There’s still Birthday Princess Weekend and plenty of sparkling vodka cocktails ahead. Thank God. Of all my birthday parties, I think my 13th was my favorite. I feel somewhat guilty saying that because a lot of time and effort went into my 21st, and many friends traveled long distances to lick the ice bar with “Serena” carved into it. However, 21 was ultimately disqualified from the party race based on insufficient memory data. You win some, you lose some. Thanks to the virgin nature of the punch, I remember almost every detail of my 13th birthday party, which was a tween girl’s fantasy: pool party and barbecue in the late afternoon, followed by...
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Peanut Butter and Bacon French Toast with Caramelized Bananas

peanut-butter-and-bacon-stuffed-french-toast-with-caramelized-bananasDISCLAIMER: The absolute ridiculousness you see on your screen in no way represents Domesticate ME!’s core values. I would not recommend consuming this French toast on a regular basis (or even a semi-regular basis), and yes, it will give you a mild bellyache if you hit it too hard. It is not Dude Diet approved, vegan/gluten-free/paleo/#fitspo or nutritionally sound in any way. With that said, there are times in life when one needs to get super weird on the food front. And such times definitely include the last week of your 27th year, when you’re embracing birthday princess status with every fiber of your rapidly aging being. That’s right, friends, Birthday Princess Week is finally here, and I’m exercising my God given right to go off the rails. (In moderation and mostly on Sunday because it’s almost bikini season, but...
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Sweet Potato Hummus Tartine with Toasted Brussels Sprouts and Goat Cheese

Sweet-Potato-Hummus-Tartine-with-Toasted-Brussels-Sprouts-and-Goat-CheeseFriday. HALLELUJAH. Shit got crazy this week, friends. There were at least 99 problems, mostly in the sleep, hair and recipe departments, but don’t panic! I only plan to bore you with the latter. In short, I’ve been obsessively trying to perfect a Dude Diet-friendly cookie and some Chinese meatballs, and the going's been tough. Honestly, the first batches of both were pretty good, but then the “maybes” set in (Maybe the cookies should be chewier? Maybe more chocolate? Maybe the balls are too big? WORSE, too small?! Maybe people won’t want to put these balls in their mouths? Maybe you should stop making ball jokes?), and then boom. Straight down the recipe testing rabbit hole. I’m obviously familiar with this particular hole (rivaled in danger only by the WebMD hole), but I’m usually rescued from the abyss by my roommate...
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Slow-Roasted Chicken Tacos with Mediterranean Salsa

slow-roasted-chicken-tacos-with-mediterranean-salsa-yogurt-sauceWhen I first moved to Paris, I frequented an adorable rotisserie chicken stand a couple blocks from my apartment. While the smell was intoxicating, and the golden poulets rôtis were truly a sight to behold, I must admit that I was first drawn to the place based on the very sexy dude handling the birds. This man, who I affectionately referred to as “chicken man,” was one of the highlights of my early Parisian tenure and is at least partially responsible for my deep-seated love of slow-roasted poultry. Chicken man was like a young Brad Pitt crossed with Diego Luna (who you’d know from either Y Tu Mamá También or Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, depending on your level of film snobbery), and I felt strangely drawn to him. This attraction may or may not have been due to my lackluster social...
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Roasted Cauliflower Soup with Parmesan, Toasted Almonds and Golden Raisins

roasted-cauliflower-soup-with-parmesan-toasted-almonds-golden-raisinsEvery year around this time, I tend to go a little batshit. Winter madness, if you will. The combo of darkness, cold, and life as a mild shut-in from December through February takes a nasty toll on my rational capabilities, and I inevitably decide that I need to overhaul some (or most) aspects of my life. All of a sudden, I’m overpowered by a desire to SHAKE THINGS UP, dammit. Occasionally, winter madness leads to good things. Like starting this blog. Or choosing to commit myself a total stranger named Logan who lived 4,000 miles away after a single date. Mostly though, it prompts some seriously questionable ideas and actions. For example, there was a time circa January 2012 that I strongly considered living on a remote mesa outside Telluride with my roommate. Last year, I cut all my hair off....
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Sriracha Caramel Corn

Sriracha-Caramel-PopcornThis past Saturday, my roommate and I drove down to visit my little brother at UPenn. We arrived to find that Elliot had food poisoning and was unable to actually hang out with us, so instead of keg-standing at frat parties as planned, Logan took me on an extensive tour of his hometown, which included "necessary" stops for pretzels, party dogs, and multiple cheesesteaks. I’m sure we’ll discuss the aforementioned events in Dude Diet detail at some point, but today I’d like to talk about road trips and popcorn. Indulge me. I really dig road trips. (I'm obviously referring to road trips with people I like, as the alternative is truly horrible.) I get to spend some QT with my friends/family/roommate, and there’s usually decent music and snacks involved, all of which I enjoy. Plus, thanks to my epic incompetence behind...
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Cocktails and Confessions Episode 6: Black-beery Whiskey Smash

Blackberry-Whiskey-Smash-with-Wheat-BeerHeyo. Happy Friday, friends! I’m very terrified excited about this weekend, as my roommate and I are taking a little road trip to visit my brother at UPenn. Elliot has been radio silent on his plans for us, but I imagine they involve lots of general frattiness followed by multiple cheesesteaks. Logan has been breathing heavily for like four days in anticipation. What are you doing? Whatever it is (i.e. marathoning House of Cards), you will need a solid cocktail in hand, yes? Cool. Let’s discuss whiskey and beer. Together. With some muddled blackberries, lemon and fresh mint! I know that combo may seem slightly strange to some of you, but I need you to trust me on this one. (Have I ever misguided you on the booze front???) A Black-beery Whiskey Smash is refreshing and subtly sweet, and the splash of wheat beer...
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Ahi Nachos with Pickled Red Onions and Wasabi Crema

Ahi-Nachos-with-pickled-red-onion-wasabi-cremaIn general, I’m all about the “yes.” From moving to Paris (excellent idea) to sporting a Winona pixie cut (not-so-excellent idea), I’ll try pretty much anything once, which is something I’m proud of. In fact, after “sparkling wit” and “good hugger,” I think my overall “yes” mentality may be my best quality. With that said, I’m slowly learning the importance of saying NO. Especially when it comes to my roommate. Like most couples, I felt compelled to participate in all of Logan’s favorite pastimes during the earlier stages of courtship (as he did mine). While some of them were unexpectedly fabulous, like camping and making dirty Christmas cookies, others didn’t really suit me. For example, I get unattractively sweaty and anxious at barbecue festivals, 3-hour bike rides make me mildly suicidal, and sometime after my 20th Widespread Panic...
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